tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767054367467233621.post8796716867631159897..comments2023-04-14T05:07:22.714-07:00Comments on Bonnie Humbarger Lamer - Help Write My Book Page: Part 3 of Who Are You?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767054367467233621.post-58455023247869320602011-06-20T11:07:57.724-07:002011-06-20T11:07:57.724-07:00Thank you!Thank you!Bonnie Humbarger Lamerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15876761545627261807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767054367467233621.post-65436593884549069952011-06-17T17:44:40.814-07:002011-06-17T17:44:40.814-07:00I love how you write your chapters, you describe o...I love how you write your chapters, you describe one or two characters and it gives the reader a chance to get to know them. You also start chapters from different points of view, so it's not always the same character.DisneyMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09813021453713585407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767054367467233621.post-67021406425392012672011-06-16T18:59:17.534-07:002011-06-16T18:59:17.534-07:00Yes!! That's so much better! It gives more of ...Yes!! That's so much better! It gives more of the effect of how attractive Max is without just saying it. I love it :)Jessica (Peace Love Books)https://www.blogger.com/profile/12509259925429901884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767054367467233621.post-26352167740039995172011-06-16T07:37:29.099-07:002011-06-16T07:37:29.099-07:00I've changed the description, more intense now...I've changed the description, more intense now. Hope you like it!Bonnie Humbarger Lamerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15876761545627261807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767054367467233621.post-43811904008654603982011-06-15T14:32:13.924-07:002011-06-15T14:32:13.924-07:00I like the more background info on "the shrew...I like the more background info on "the shrew" and how we understand why she acts the way she does around Max! The only thing I would say is when you talk about how Max looks, it's basically the same exact description as before: Brown. Maybe change it to like pools of chocolate. And when you say "eyes you could lose yourself in", maybe say something less overused, like "with one glance...." and something more emotional about how she felt. That's it though!! I love it and am excited for more!!Jessica (Peace Love Books)https://www.blogger.com/profile/12509259925429901884noreply@blogger.com